I Deserve a Raise

We have a major project due at work. One of those projects, that sneak up from behind, and jumps everyone, with the highest priority. A project driven by marketing, the most incompetent department, yet, the holy child of the company. We took the best in our group (well, my boss did) and divided up the project between us. Everyone scrambles to make sure things work correctly, and they do, but did we really need to work ourselves ragged, because of the failures in the rest of the company? Someday, they will bow down and worship the power of the programmer. Countless are the times that we have saved their bacon! And what do we have to show for it? Receding hairlines, high blood pressure, and a lack of toys. I can deal with the first two problems, but I demand more toys. I have to experiment with electronics in order to create my doomsday devices. I need to have these things, so that I feel like a proper Overlord.

I have an unfinished basement in my house. I have an entire room slated to become my secret laboratory. Not so secret since I told you, but you don’t know where I live. I plan on doing many fun experiments in there. Experiments such as hypnotism, electrical magnetism, and other fun things. But I need those toys.

When I do take over the world. I am going to make sure that I employ dentists as my force of secret intelligence. I know none better at torture, and pain. Speaking of which, I am headed there shortly for my annual check-up. They want you to go every six months, insurance only pays once a year. What do they think? I’m going to PAY for the pain? I might be demented, but I am not sick!