I Think I'm Getting Old
I think I am getting old. My wife made an appointment with the eye doctor for me because I was complaining about not being able to read the TV listings on the TV. Rather than make a fuss, I went to the appointment.
Now, bear in mind that I had glasses before. In fact this was back in 1998. I had the glasses for about two years. At which point my wife, who was roughly eight months pregnant, sat on and broke my glasses. It was a weak prescription. Probably the weakest you can get, and still have glasses. I just did not bother to get them replaced for the past five years.
Do I need glasses now? Yes. Is my prescription bad? No. Although, it is slightly worse than before. And this new word, stigmatism. The doctor said that I don’t need glasses for every day use, but at times I may wish to have glasses just to make things easier on my eyes. Being able to see the white board clearly in meetings. Possibly at the movie theater with the screen so far away.
Am I bummed? Of course not! If worn properly, glasses have a way of making someone more distinguished. More powerful. Course, if not worn properly, they only make you look more like a dork than anything. This is way kids get made fun of for wearing glasses. Their uncaring parents force them to get these huge frames because they are tuff and will last a long time. Frames that dwarf the poor kids face. Then the parent wonders why kids are making fun of their child. Idiots!
So I have glasses now. Well, as soon as they come in. Not a bad thing, but still regrettable. Oh well. I will be the Evil Overlord, and then it doesn’t matter because if someone DOES make fun of me, they will find themselves at the wrong end of a firing squad.
Now, bear in mind that I had glasses before. In fact this was back in 1998. I had the glasses for about two years. At which point my wife, who was roughly eight months pregnant, sat on and broke my glasses. It was a weak prescription. Probably the weakest you can get, and still have glasses. I just did not bother to get them replaced for the past five years.
Do I need glasses now? Yes. Is my prescription bad? No. Although, it is slightly worse than before. And this new word, stigmatism. The doctor said that I don’t need glasses for every day use, but at times I may wish to have glasses just to make things easier on my eyes. Being able to see the white board clearly in meetings. Possibly at the movie theater with the screen so far away.
Am I bummed? Of course not! If worn properly, glasses have a way of making someone more distinguished. More powerful. Course, if not worn properly, they only make you look more like a dork than anything. This is way kids get made fun of for wearing glasses. Their uncaring parents force them to get these huge frames because they are tuff and will last a long time. Frames that dwarf the poor kids face. Then the parent wonders why kids are making fun of their child. Idiots!
So I have glasses now. Well, as soon as they come in. Not a bad thing, but still regrettable. Oh well. I will be the Evil Overlord, and then it doesn’t matter because if someone DOES make fun of me, they will find themselves at the wrong end of a firing squad.
posted by Elvenbane at 7:32 AM
4 Comments:
What a dork! Its called "Astigmatism". Im gonna make fun of you even if you do look powerful, 4 eyes.
Give me a break! This is the first time I've had to deal with this! Sheesh!
Hey swankyc,
Whoever you are, you best be fearin' the Overlord (and yes, I'm using "Overlord" with a capital "O"). Maybe if HE does nothing about it, I will still be in command of his armies, and I will be blood thirsty after having killed everybody, and having nobody else to kill. So I would be fearing the Doctor (with a capital "D") as well. That's Dr. Doyle.
Or, another thought is to just perform surgery on you to make you have to wear really huge glasses.
And, if you don't have astigmatism, we'll give that to you too, and also give you "bungholism" (if you already have it, then we'll double the dosage).
Hmm.... We'll see.
Hey Doyle, I've alrady had surgery to take away my Astigmatism and glasses. I fear no man so when you're ready to start killin, dont walk up any avenue of approach to my place, I'll take you out at 1000 yards.
Post a Comment
<< Home